Turn Da Page
by BoneBanditKonner
Summary: Tons of gay and het pairings! It all started, when Kenny just HAD to have Cartman.
1. Bored

_On a long and lonesome highway, east of omaha.  
You can listen to the engine moaning out its one lone song  
You can think about woman, or the girl you knew the night before,  
But your thoughts will soon be wandering, the way they always do.  
When your riding sixteen hours and theres nothing much to do  
And you dont feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through.  
Say, here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.  
Here I go, playing star again.  
There I go, turn the page._

This spoke to me in ways I didn't understand at the time. I was dating my best friend Kyle and we were happier than ever, but… that's just it "but…". I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Kyle, but it's just, I am 13 and I need exictement! I need… Cartman! I know that sounds fucked up, but, it's true. I think I am falling for Cartman! But you want the great part of the story. So let's go to the beginning:

I am 9 and in Kyle's room we were still just best buds and were working on a project about dinosauers. "Kenny, wanna go to the library and look for stuff on the T-Rex?" Kyle, my secert love at the time. "Naw, man. We could do it from the computer!" I said back to him.

"But we could use the excerise! Come on, Kenny! For me?"

FUCK! I can't stand it when he says "For me?". It fucking sucks the way it makes me feel! But then again, it could mean that he knows I like him? Oh, shit!

"Aw, man! Alright!" I said to him. So we went to the library and we stayed there for awhile. I mostly looked up porn on the internet. "Come on, Kenny! **WE** have to fucking get this over with!"

"Screw the 'WE' shit, alright man! I only did this project with you, because I fucking love you-SHIT!" I fucked up baaaaaaaaaaad.

The next thing I expected was a kick to the groin

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I got a kiss on the lips.


	2. Sex part 1

Cartman'z:

Okay, Kenny loves me. Not going to keep you from that just going to put it out and I love Kenny!

I am straight forward on this shit!

So, I'm gay.

There you go.

Kenny is coming over and I think I know what to do with him…

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"Hey, Ken!" I said to him, "Come, sit down! It's awesome that you can stay over tonight and we can talk about, uh, some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Kenny asked, his sexy voice alone made me want to moan.

"Just random stuff, ok, you and Kyle is basically it."

"What about me and Kyle?"

"You are going out right? Answer truthfully!"

"Truthfully? Me and him are going… out."

Yes. Jackpot.

"What wrong with that, Kenny? A lot of boys are gay."

"I'm bored with him."

I moved closer to him, "Wanna get exciting?" I whispered seductively into his ear. He nodded. I lead him up to my room and pulled of his orange parka and looked at his glorious blonde hair and ran my fingers though it.

I tugged off his shirt and put my hand on his chest, he pulled off my jacket and shirt and felt my big boned chest, I kissed him on the lips and he kissed back and we fell onto my bed and I made short work of his jeans, as he did mine.

"Blow me." Kenny said to me. I couldn't help but have a huge smile come across my face.

I pulled off his boxers and got to work on his dick.

It was nice and sweet, despite all the sweat that covered the blonde. I pulled the dick slightly and white cum came out the end and I sucked it up, I was an addict and this was my heroine.

Once I was done, I looked up at Kenny and kissed him on the lips and I said "Fuck me."

"Hell, yes" said the blonde.

He put his finger into his mouth and put it up my ass, once he was done preparing me, he stuck his dick into me and I was over come by pain, but pleasure replaced it quickly. He plunged deeper into my body until he struck a soft spot.

He took his dick out and kissed me, saying "I love you"


	3. Trifecta

A/N: No reviews???? . Suck Kenny balls! Sorry, but Cartman beat ya 2 it!

Kenny:

Me and Cartman had sex last night and I can't even think of what would happen if Kyle found out! Oh, I would be dead! I hope he doesn't find out, or every time I come back from the dead, he'll kill me!

Maybe I just have to turn the page and go to Cartman, or I can play it safe and stay with Kyle.

Damn. This is tough, I hate love.

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4 Years Later:

"Cartman, honey, come down here!" My mom yelled to me. "What, mah!" I said to her. "Kenny is here."

I light up! Me and Kenny had be secretly going out for a while, about 4 years, since that night me and him lost our virginity. He and Kyle broke up once when Kyle got mad at Kenny for some unknown reason, so we went out for a glorious 3 weeks until Kyle and Stan broke, leaving Kyle broken-hearted at the prom.

Wendy came and ruined both me and Kyle's relationship, now me and Kenny were back to getting together in private. Nobody knows about this. Hell nobody knew we were gay until me and Kenny held hands to class.

Me and Kenny went to my room and we played Guitar Hero for about an hour and then Kenny wanted to **do** something.

And that something was me.

He unbuttoned my coat, "Kenny, not now!"

But I don't think he heard me, he was taking off my shirt and his own and next thing I knew he was kissing me and then I was about to blow him, but the worst possible thing happened;

Kyle walked into my room.

"What the hell are you doing, Cartman!"

Kenny walked over to Kyle and kissed him on the lips and was pulling off his shirt!

There was going to be a tri tonight!


	4. Boys, will KILL Boys

**A/N: A least someone likes me! AnimeMixDJ you are awesome! But I STILL STILL LOVE YOU GUYS! Sorry for the long wait, I went on hiatus to help with my friend Hipeople27. **

CARTMAN'Z POV:

Next thing I knew, me, Kyle and Kenny were all in the bed and Kyle and Kenny were kissing.

They were being hot and it was giving me a huge boner. So I went up behind Kenny and laid kisses all down his neck ands he loved it.

Kenny probed Kyle and I kissed him, Kyle then probed me and kissed me for a few minutes. Then I got blowed by Kenny, and He got probed unexpectedly by Kyle!

Kenny got blowed after that, then, we fell asleep.

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Stan's POV:

I didn't know where Kyle was, I checked Kenny's, Token's and Butters's house, but I just couldn't find him!

I decided to check Cartman's house. I took a look in to Eric's room, and found something I didn't want to see.

Cartman, Kyle and Kenny were sleeping together! I ran in and scared the living shit outta Cartman and Kyle. Kenny seemed completely calm.

"Hey, Stan how are you doing?" said Kenny.

"What happened here?" I asked.

"Oh, we had sex."

"Why?"

"Cause we're gay."

"WAIT!" yelled Kyle, "I'm not gay, and I just got roped into this shit!"

"Wait, but you probed me and hit my G-spot!" yelled Cartman.

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Craig's POV:

"I love you, Tweek." I said to my boyfriend.

"I love you –GAH!- too, Craig."

I pulled Tweek into a kiss, but then…

"Oh… my… fucking… God." Said Clyde.

"Uh, Clyde, it's not what you think!" said Tweek.

"Then what is it, Tweek!? Huh!? What is it!? You cheated on me, with my ex-boyfriend!" said Clyde, crying.

"You were dating Clyde!? You can do soooo much better than him!" said Craig.

This propelled Clyde to jump on Craig and beat him. Tweek tried to help but just couldn't. He watched his one of hid boyfriends… die.

**A/N: I ask this all the time, but… "Who died?"! But you're going to figure that out… next chapter!**


	5. Sex part 2

**A/N: God dammit man, I'm soooooooooo sorry for the late update! AnimeMixDJ thx 4 making that awesome story and update soon!**

**3****rd**** person POV**

Clyde pulled away from the dead body of Craig with a smile on his face, and then he looked at Tweek. "This is what happens, when you cheat on me."

Then Clyde walked out of the room. Tweek stared at the dead body for what seemed like forever. Then, Craig coughed. Tweek smiled and went over to Craig, "Are you ok?"

"Yea just banged up is all. Oh, fuck me. It hurts." Craig said, Tweek smiled and hugged Craig. "I'll fix you all up… I promise."

**Cartman's POV**

Stan walked into the room, when me, Kyle and Kenny were having sex.

"Uh, ok, I'm going to pretend I never saw this. I'm 17. I shouldn't see this shit. And you guys shouldn't be doing this shit, but hey, your love is your love." Said Stan.

He then walked out of the room and went to God knows where.

Kenny and Kyle started kissing while I was putting on my pants and walking out of the room.

**Kenny's POV**

Kyle started kissing me all over and we started to have sex again.

I couldn't help it. I'm Kenny James McCormick! I live for this shit! I traveled up his leg and grabbed his dick and he came all over me. "You can't make me cum again, I've already came twice, you can't do it again," he whispered.

I put my dick into his ass and pulled his dick again. Nothing the first time… then…

"I'm gonna… I'm gonna CUM!" he yelled. Thank God Cartman's mom wasn't home.

After an hour, we sleep in the bed. Cartman came in and woke us up saying, "My mom's home! Get your fucking pants on!"

We got our pants and shirts on, cleaned up the "mess" and watched the "Military Channel" on Cartman's TV. He got everything he wanted, he's got a TV, computer, Wii, Xbox 360 and more in his room! It makes me mad that I'm too poor to have any of those things in my house, let alone my room!

But I had a PSP and he didn't. Well, he did have a PSP, a "pretty small penis". But I had a Playstation Portable.

**A/N: Oh, Kenny. You're such a card. Well, I think I made a good and sexy comeback for Turn Da Page. **


End file.
